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your spouse is not a puzzle piece in your world; appreciating your spouse as a unique special individual person that is NOT you, paradoxically...
Rav Avraham Twersky on Marriage. #21. Gra's perspective on empathy; respect a wife's binah yeseirah; not keep secrets; learn healthy skills of making decisions...
to value our true selves above pleasure, money, status; every interaction gives us opportunity to access our best selves and bring out the best...